life will always be topsy turvy.
i've learned to except that.
and i'm beginning to enjoy bits.
i love my best friend forever fly, kayla :]
February 26, 2009
January 30, 2009
January 24, 2009
like a lemon.
i am in such a bad mood, it's like i can't even function. i'm so frustrated with people. annoyed. i almost feel like i want to say i hate anything about everyone at this moment.
disregarding people i don't know..
because that doesn't really count now does it, hah.
today consisted of petty arguments.
and me almost losing my cool. seriously, i wanted to physically hurt my mother.
somehow get into her head that because of her,
i am what i am.
and according to my mother's standards.
and my fathers too,
i am trash.
i am nothing.
i am a disappointment.
i doubt anything else i do will effect anything.
i'm a failure in their eyes either way.
if it's not one thing, it's another.
those last 6 sentences started with 'i'.
everyone is selfish.
no exceptions for me.
disregarding people i don't know..
because that doesn't really count now does it, hah.
today consisted of petty arguments.
and me almost losing my cool. seriously, i wanted to physically hurt my mother.
somehow get into her head that because of her,
i am what i am.
and according to my mother's standards.
and my fathers too,
i am trash.
i am nothing.
i am a disappointment.
i doubt anything else i do will effect anything.
i'm a failure in their eyes either way.
if it's not one thing, it's another.
those last 6 sentences started with 'i'.
everyone is selfish.
no exceptions for me.
January 23, 2009
you
words
glitter
and
it
brings
a
certain
thickness
to
my
blood.
so i was thinking about friendships earlier today. to be honest, "best friends" and "friends", i have come to realize, are nothing. they're just words. the time spent on trying to make something work is.. useless.
the people i know,
are a waste of time.
space.
energy.
breath.
LIFE.
it's sad to find this out but all the while this is happening, i'm content with knowing this.
i've officially immune to it.
or perhaps my brain perceptors are confusing me again.
which they tend to do a lot of..
especially recently.
-------------------------
it'scoming'roundagain.
it'scoming'roundagain.
it's about fuckin' time.
words
glitter
and
it
brings
a
certain
thickness
to
my
blood.
so i was thinking about friendships earlier today. to be honest, "best friends" and "friends", i have come to realize, are nothing. they're just words. the time spent on trying to make something work is.. useless.
the people i know,
are a waste of time.
space.
energy.
breath.
LIFE.
it's sad to find this out but all the while this is happening, i'm content with knowing this.
i've officially immune to it.
or perhaps my brain perceptors are confusing me again.
which they tend to do a lot of..
especially recently.
-------------------------
it'scoming'roundagain.
it'scoming'roundagain.
it's about fuckin' time.
January 22, 2009
how ridiculous.
it really is ridiculous to keep on dwelling on what has passed.
is it okay to even think about it? especially after you shut it out a long time ago.
then again, things don't just go away.
they disappear in your mind in some distant corner,
and after a while, it's bound to reappear.
it's how it fucking works.
it's time to reappear i think.
is it okay to even think about it? especially after you shut it out a long time ago.
then again, things don't just go away.
they disappear in your mind in some distant corner,
and after a while, it's bound to reappear.
it's how it fucking works.
it's time to reappear i think.
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